Unplanned Papa Post!

We’ve all thought about ordering a pizza without cheese from a traditional pizza chain, no?

No? Well, I have… many a’time. Today as I looked over my castle, the one I am moving from in a few days, I thought, “Today is the day.”

I ordered a cheeseless pizza from Papa John’s. It felt real good. Not only did I order a pizza without cheese, I requested:

Cut square, topped with BBQ sauce (instead of tomato), mushrooms, pineapple, and hot sauce.

I went all out wacky tobaccy on these guys!

40 minutes later that bad boy was at my door. No annoying calls, no questions, doubts, or comments. My pizza was at my door.


Oh, right… my pizza was a little discombobulated. Minor detail. I’m not sure what happened here, but it looks hilarious. I like to think my pizza delivery guy was in some whimsical accident-doodle, causing one square of pizza to slide off-center just an inch or two. We all laughed.

However, I don’t think that’s what happened. I think something much worse occurred here, and I shant even think what misdeeds took place.

So, I’m just gonna eat this here room-temperature pizza. I mean, it would have been nice if it were hot… warm… lukewarm, but I will refrain from overreacting.

What’s this beside my pizza? A garlic sauce? For me!? It’s so unexpected…. I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Papa!


Oh. Oh…. Well, oh. I see.

I’m gonna have to get my knife out and dissect this bad boy. It’s on.

It was on.

Quite honestly, it was tasty, albeit weirdly textured garlic sauce.

Well, I got my pizza and I ate it too. Not mind-blowing, not the best pizza in the world, not an event to likely occur ever again, but I did it. I made my home and my country proud.

Tune in next time when I review something else!

Rating: 3/10 unicorn hugs

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2 thoughts on “Unplanned Papa Post!”

  1. Papa John’s basically gives away pizza where I live. When the local sports teams win it’s half off. I withhold temptation as best I can, but it’s nice to splurge every once in a while. I love the square cut, too. Thin crust well done is my favorite. I get the veggie w/o cheese, replace the tomatoes and bell peppers with pineapple and jalapenos and I’m good to go. I still can’t believe the garlic sauce is vegan. Sometimes it’s oil and sometimes it’s like melted chapstick haha. If you do a google image search, people cut a slit in the lid and light it like a candle! Yet I still inhale it…

    Do you have Papa Murphy’s Take ‘n Bake near you? Their crust is vegan and you can request just a crust for a couple bucks to top yourself at home.

    1. Oh, man… I can’t believe I paid for it! I should be hanging out in your town.
      I just looked up the garlic sauce thing- mind blown. I might order from them again just to give that a go! Magic! Although, I really think I love money too much and respect my stomach too much to ever do this again!

      Never heard of Papa Murphy’s. Is this a store-bought thing? I can look, but I don’t think I’ve seen that name. Thanks for the suggestion and the comment, though!

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