Unplanned Papa Post!

by on

We’ve all thought about ordering a pizza without cheese from a traditional pizza chain, no?

No? Well, I have… many a’time. Today as I looked over my castle, the one I am moving from in a few days, I thought, “Today is the day.”

I ordered a cheeseless pizza from Papa John’s. It felt real good. Not only did I order a pizza without cheese, I requested:

Cut square, topped with BBQ sauce (instead of tomato), mushrooms, pineapple, and hot sauce.

I went all out wacky tobaccy on these guys!

40 minutes later that bad boy was at my door. No annoying calls, no questions, doubts, or comments. My pizza was at my door.


Oh, right… my pizza was a little discombobulated. Minor detail. I’m not sure what happened here, but it looks hilarious. I like to think my pizza delivery guy was in some whimsical accident-doodle, causing one square of pizza to slide off-center just an inch or two. We all laughed.

However, I don’t think that’s what happened. I think something much worse occurred here, and I shant even think what misdeeds took place.

So, I’m just gonna eat this here room-temperature pizza. I mean, it would have been nice if it were hot… warm… lukewarm, but I will refrain from overreacting.

What’s this beside my pizza? A garlic sauce? For me!? It’s so unexpected…. I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Papa!


Oh. Oh…. Well, oh. I see.

I’m gonna have to get my knife out and dissect this bad boy. It’s on.

It was on.

Quite honestly, it was tasty, albeit weirdly textured garlic sauce.

Well, I got my pizza and I ate it too. Not mind-blowing, not the best pizza in the world, not an event to likely occur ever again, but I did it. I made my home and my country proud.

Tune in next time when I review something else!

Rating: 3/10 unicorn hugs

Check out things you’re not eating right now:


You may also like