One Month Until Portland, Brudda!

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Is it considered a plan if my plan is to have as little of a plan as possible? Plan planned. Done.

Here’s what I’m thinking, kids. Please correct if my opinion is wrong.

June 12th – Fly to Portland, Oregon from JFK at 4.55 PM. If you need to chase me down and proclaim your love for me, this would be the time to do it. Don’t do it. Either the police or I will roundhouse kick you.

Barring any love-related incidents, I will be Oregon-bound by 5.30 PM. Off to the mecca of weird, quirky, outrageous, hip, and all that is vegan. I’ll be staying with a chap named Kevin. Kevin is a 41-year-old male I met on Couchsurfing.com. He describes himself as, “a traveler at heart, I enjoy the open road and travel as much as possible” and says, “I live in downtown Portland, Oregon a beautiful, majestic place to live. You have the outdoors which are beautiful, hiking, biking, camping and the beach are all within a short distance of Portland and I love it.”

His profile says that he has a one-bedroom apartment without any roommates on the 11th floor of a building overlooking West Hills, wherever that is. He offers a comfy couch and a spacious air mattress. His home is located just 8 blocks from Powell’s Books, 15 blocks from Pioneer Square, and 4 blocks from Washington Park, which is amazing (he claims). He seems sane and nice, but who doesn’t on the interwebs? Is he single? I don’t know! And, I really don’t care. Moving on….

During my stay in Portland, I am sure to meet up with some local freaks and check out all the fun stuff mentioned in my other Portland post. However, no one cared enough to point out that I completely forgot to mention Portland’s – if not America’s- very first vegan mini-mart! Are you KIDDING me, people? After all I’ve done for you?? Vegan clothing store, bakery, tattoo shop, grocery store… I mean, this is real. This is not a test. Avert thine eyes, because I will be eating and dressing and shopping and using needles ALL OVER THE PLACE! I should clarify, by “using needles”, I mean injecting heroin. Tattoos are for freaks.

The joy is pouring out of me as thick as a peanut butter, hummus, and tar smoothie.

After staying in Kevin’s lovely home for a week, we will be picking up his 11-year-old son and heading to Sunriver and Crater Lake. What are these places? Where are they? Again, I have absolutely no clue. He’s never been there, his son has never been there, and I will be intruding on their bonding time because I can. Right on.

What could take this trip from old-time hinky dink to tralinka dinka?? After our little road trip, Kevin will be dropping me off in Canby, Oregon to experience Cedar Rock Farm! Oh, yes, the one and only.

Naw, I’ve never heard of it, either. However, for a hard day’s work, they’ll provide some meals, accommodations, and parental figures, I hear. Lord knows I can’t function without real adults around, so that’s a relief.

I don’t know what the utilities will be like, as far as internet access, showers, and such…. Fortunately, showers are pretty optional. I mean, just look at these dirty, smiling hippies. Selling CSA veggies, “coexisting”… disgusting, if you ask me.


After enjoying the farm life for a week or two, I will somehow or another make my way over to Seattle. I may have found someone interested in joining me for a road trip around the West Coast, such as Cali and Nevada, and maybe I’ll even make my way to visit a friend in Vancouver! But that’s all up in the air. Depends on which of my friends want me, which of my friends I can get to, and how much fun I’m having. Obviously. I also have an offer to stay on a boat in Seattle. My new friend Katie, her husband, and their dog Chila all live on a 30 foot Catamaran sailboat. Words I do not understand, but it sounds snazzy. It’s a bit of a squeeze, but it doesn’t get more liberating than the ability to lift the anchor (figuratively) and sail off whenever they wish. Or, since I have a sensitive stomach, I’m more likely going to hop off the boat and go vomit right into the delicious, natural, salty water. Don’t drink the pukey water!

There’s a lot of ifs, ands, and buts about this “no plan” plan, but that’s the pleasure of travel. If I can’t go abroad at the moment, I may as well see as much and experience as much as I can in local territory. If a job arises or some other incredible opportunity comes up, I am free to accept or try it out. That’s what it’s all about! What good is freedom if you aren’t free to enjoy it? Soak it all in, I say! What have I got to lose? Seriously, what? Nothing at all. That’s something for which I can choose to be grateful and I am.

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

I hope you’ll continue to keep up with my adventure and see where this path leads me.
Feel free to share any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, hopes, dreams, money, or ice cream.
Until next time!

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In the meantime, get satisfied!

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