Mini Chocolate Pretzels

I made some pretty freakin’ adorable chocolate-covered pretzels! Since moving in my new home a couple weeks ago, I’ve just wanted an excuse to drink booze, eat junk food, and invite people whom I feel indifferent about come into my home. Thus, a housewarming party is underway. This house is going to be so freakin’ warm, you won’t even believe it.

This means I have to put some effort into my life, though. That’s the annoying part. There wasn’t enough room on the invitation to ask them to bring food, and a “potluck” sounds messy, and it’s a stupid word.

So, here I am, with a bunch of pretzels, chocolate, and dollar store sprinkles. Because everyone loves some sparkly sugar on their sugar and carbs and fat and sodium. No, seriously, everyone does. It’s a primitive desire.

Fortunately, I already had a biggish pot, a smallish metal bowl, water, and fire. My new home is a mansion! If “mansion” means any size home that has water and fire.

What you’ll need:

Big pot

Small metal bowl

Cookie sheet

Wax paper



Sprinkles (or chopped nuts or coconut or whatever make your life a little more pleasant….)

A fork or other tool to transfer pretzels to and from chocolate


Here’s what I did:

1- I put water in the biggish pot. It doesn’t have to be huge, but at least a few inches wider and taller than the metal bowl.

2- Put the chocolate in the smallish metal bowl. I chose 70% cocoa made my Lindt, and mix with milk of choice. I went with unsweetened almond milk.

3- When the water starts to lightly boil- don’t go crazy here, you just need the water hot and boily- put the small bowl with the chocolate inside. It should float. You’ll feel like Jesus, I promise.

4- Eventually, the small bowl will heat up and melt the chocolate.

5- This is when things get intense. Now you’ll want to dip your pretzels in the chocolate. Either use a fork or whatever thin tool you want to maneuver them, or use your hands and only cover half the pretzels. It’ll look artsy.

6- Let excess chocolate drip off back into the bowl and transfer pretzel to wax paper on a cookie sheet.

7- If you’re using different toppings, separate them an inch so as to not mix types. You never know who has cooties.

8- Now, while the chocolate is still wet, sprinkle your toppings on.

9- My favourite part- put in the fridge and let them cool up and dry, or just stick them all in your mouth.

You now look like an expert dessert maker, and everyone is super jealous, and knows they can’t compete. They’ll never invite you to their parties for this reason, which is just what you were hoping for.