I was All Set at Sacred Chow

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I ate food today.

Not impressed?

Well, what if I told you I ate food at a vegan restaurant for free today?

Bam. You’re intrigued.

Really- I did! Thanks to the Allset program I just downloaded on my phone. There was a promotion going on that if I promised to send them a review, they’d give me $15 free! Being that I like eating until my body registers for refugee status due to cruel conditions,  I felt this promotion could be of great benefit to me.

What is Allset? It’s actually kind of a neat idea…. But before you ask, and before I explain, I’ll make this clear: they didn’t pay me to say good things about them. They gave me free food because they’re a small company. They knew no one would download their new and totally random program, pay, and hope for the best. So they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Download, get $15 for free, and let them know how they’re doing. Sweet.

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The story on their website is kind of abstract and frootsy tootsy, so let me explain the program in dirty gurdy terms. Basically, you pick a restaurant at which you want to eat. The selection is a bit limited, but they do have a few vegan/vegetarian restaurants already! I emailed them to make sure before downloading it.

Once you have a restaurant in mind, you can book a reservation for either the same day or the next day. You pick a time. Now, that’s good enough for most people, but Allset does more than that! Once you picked your place, number of people, and time, you can even look at the menu, make selections, and yes, you can PAY! Tip, tax, and all. You go to the restaurant, get seated and fed nearly immediately, and feel VIP. Or you can pretend you’re dining and ditching. Really depends where you want to take this. As you can see, you’re ALL SET!

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*Music plays, crowd stands and applauses*

Keep in mind, as of now they only have New York City and SF Bay Area options. However, there is a clicky-doo that locates where places are in relation to you, so I assume they plan on expanding… if all goes well.

I won’t say this thing is perfect. I did find it a little confusing (that might just be me) to figure out what times were available and how to go through the menu options…. Overall, though, I found the program super straightforward. They also offer the option to join tables with other people, especially if you’re over 6 people. Plus, they have a deal that allows you to refer friends. With your own special little code, your friend gets $10 off and you get $10 off. That’s, like, $20!

What I addressed when I sent feedback was my uncertainty regarding changes of plans. What if your reservation and order is set at 7, but a friend forgot about his lobotomy at 5? Oh, no! There’s no way he’ll be dressed and ready to eat artichoke hearts by 7!  Can you still get a refund and change your number of people!? Or, what if you get to the restaurant and realize you’re suddenly extremely allergic to the pasta and peanut potato pancake you ordered? Methinks all these things can be dealt with at the restaurant, though. As long as you didn’t order something that had to be made way ahead of time….

Now that we covered the technology portion of this post, let’s talk about food-eating. After all, I took more time eating than I did with the booking thing.

Sacred Chow is yet another vegan restaurant in the West Village. I don’t say “yet another” because I am sick of them, I say it because there are so many! I am emphasizing that fact. It is my pleasure to announce that there is *yet another* vegan establishment in the West Village of New York City in the United States of America on Earth.

I’m not really sure what vibe or theme they’re aiming for, exactly…. It’s kind of Asian, but they also serve tempeh reuben, French lentil meatloaf, and Mama’s ‘No-Soy’ Meatballs. I don’t know. I guess it’s just a place that serves food that people want to eat. What a concept.

As soon as I got to Sacred Chow, I knew everything was cool. How did I know this? Because the waiter kept saying, “cool.”

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He had no one idea what Allset was, but I explained, and he said he’d go look into it. In the meantime, “Sit anywhere”, he said, “…anywhere is cool.”

Cool.

I sat facing the door so I could admire the beautiful view of a building’s wall across from me. Fortunately, there was enough stuff hanging on the restaurant’s walls to keep me amused. What confused me amidst all the Western-themed hanging lamps and meditating cows was a neon sign advertising Cerveza. I kind of felt like I had climbed the Himalayas seeking nirvana and found Keanu Reeves instead. “Cool… dude.”

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After sitting for awhile, I began to wonder if the waiter was planning on returning. Was he going to let me know if my order was received and recognized and paid for or is this a test of my willingness to speak up for myself?

Well… I have lukewarm water in a nifty jar thing and there’s stuff on the walls. Maybe I’ll just wait.

And wait.

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That’s when it happened. See that curtain back there? A hand appeared! I swear- not even a wrist, just a hand swung around the curtain, balanced a small plate on the edge of the counter, and disappeared. DEMONS! But, hey, it’s my food! Yay!

The waiter brought my plate over without a word. Well, maybe I heard, “Coooooolllll” off in the distance.

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Not gonna lie- at this point, I totally forgot what I had ordered. Brown stuff with green things. Probably that. Now that I can look at the menu online, I see it’s the Thai Ginger BBQ Seitan with roasted kale. None of those things had I guessed correctly. I guessed maybe BBQ something, but that’s just what I assume everything is.

I liked it. I liked my seitan a lot. However, of course, I have some comments. The thing is, the plate was small, right? Here I am trying to cut up these long curls of kale and strips of seitan, but there’s no room to spread! The only thing that can possibly occur is splashing of oils and sauces. Not gonna lie- I was getting pretty sweaty and anxious cutting this stuff up. Smaller chunks, my friends, smaller bits and pieces. That’s the point of tapas, after all! Although, I did get one piece of seitan that the right size, and it was also a bit more firm. That piece was heavenly! The rest was more like purgatory- like, a nice, good one. But that chunka hunka was just the right texture. Fortunately, the sauce wasn’t overpowering. It wasn’t too sweet or too gloppy. The kale was cooked nicely, too.

Take note, whenever you have the chance to serve a slice of lime, do it! Do it! There is nothing I love more than the smell of lime on my hands after a meal. I could be covered in blood and beans and baby powder and still feel fresh and clean if my hands are bathed in lime juice.

I took my time eating my little tapas. I enjoyed the conversations around me and the people screaming in Spanish outside. It was like home. Next thing I knew, my food was done. That is, until the waiter came over to inform me that it was cool that I was done and cool that I was still waiting for something else.

What was that something else? A COOKIE!!!! I didn’t really have my hopes too high. As I mentioned before, cookies are… eh. Cookies seldom get a mention or a huzzah. They don’t make lists or make children popular. They’re just cookies. What I didn’t take into account was that this was a no-soy, sugar-free, gluten-free toasted macaroon cookie. And, oh, baby, was it ever!

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That is my cookie. A cookie with no other that can compete. SUGAR-FREE? But, how? It’s so yummy and “buttery” and ALL the coconut. They hadn’t even mentioned the raspberry coulis on top, but I am mentioning it. Hard.

Macaroon cookie, just kidnap me and forever be mine. It was a cool treat, not right out of the oven, but it didn’t feel old or frozen. It was soft and decadent and man, I could have eaten that cookie forever.

Before this cookie affair took place, I was pretty ready to give Sacred Chow 8/10 unicorn hugs, but I’m thinking this treat alone gives them…

10/10 unicorn hugs

Check out things you’re not eating:

Sacred Chow

If you’re interested in Allset: an app for reserving seats, ordering your food, and paying ahead of time:

https://allsetnow.com/

Click the ‘Follow’ button below to tune in when I review something else!

If you would like me to attend your event, review your food, or submit your own review, send an email to:

sweettoothnothings@gmail.com

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In the meantime, get satisfied!

 

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